I think I finally get it. My life’s purpose that is. After years of inner turmoil, mental anguish, tears and sleepless nights, I get what I’ve been put on this earth to do. *drumroll please* To love and be loved. Solving this ‘non-puzzle’ kind of feels like when you’re given a riddle and the answer is so obvious and basic that you feel like an idiot for having exhausted Google to solve it. But there it is. It only took me about 31 years to get it. I guess I shouldn’t feel so bad since many people live their entire lives and never quite figure it out. And even if they do they’re not really sure what to do about it. I can’t say I totally blame them or myself for buying into it for so many years though. It can be very difficult to fight the forces of a society that desperately wants us to hate ourselves and each other in order to make a profit and/or maintain political and economic power. Multi-million dollar industries and political regimes of all kinds have been built to feed off of human insecurities and to plant more seeds of self-loathing and fear into our minds and hearts. I’ll take colonialism for $100 Alex. It’s all around us. On the internet, on TV in the movies, on billboards. I saw an Indian commercial on youtube a few months ago advertising a “feminine wash” that also acts as a vaginal bleach for those who may have discoloured vagina’s…*blank stares* Can our genitals live please?
Many of us spend so much of our time, money and energy trying to appear worthy and loveable on the outside while feeling un-worthy and un-loveable on the inside. We buy into illusions instead of investing in the reality of the human experience. And the human experience is really founded on love and connection to each other and to our phenomenal universe. Most of us walk around thinking purpose is attached to bringing in a certain income, working in a profession with an “important” title, acquiring degrees, a big home a nice car etc., But when we place our life’s purpose on such a shaky foundation it’s bound to collapse under the weight of what it is we truly require from the world around us and from each other.
Don’t get me wrong, acquiring things and working towards a job or profession that you enjoy are not inherently bad. We are human after all. However, it becomes dangerous when we use those things to mask, validate and/or replace our deepest need. And that is to give and receive love in its purest form. Because in the end we all just want to be loved and accepted for who we are. Having cracked this “secret” to a more enjoyable life wide open, I find myself feeling a sense of freedom I have never felt before. I no longer walk around in a funk because I can’t figure out what to do with my life (Ok, well maybe I do sometimes. But not as much)! I’m connecting with people and with my surroundings in a way that I haven’t done before and it feels amazing. While I still struggle to fight the forces mentioned above, I feel like I have a better sense of what it all means and what I need to do to live a more fulfilled life. And it all rests upon love.
Apologize to your body. Maybe that’s where the healing begins. ~Nayyirah Waheed…13 October 2017